Weeks 13 & 14: 94 miles, A Bug & Some Gremlins

94 miles is what I logged after 14 consecutive days of lacing up my nikes and hitting the pavement.

Usually I have a day or two off each week, but because of a coach recommended schedule change for February 12th, the week of the13th had a lot of recovery days (a.k.a. lower mileage). (I was supposed to race a half marathon on the 12th, but was told to do speed drills instead of simulating a race – who would have thought it would be so hard to find a local half on that day?!)

This means that 94 miles, while seemingly impressive at first glance, is actually somewhat low, for where I am in my plan.  Lower mileage in week 13 brought my overall mileage down, but was there another factor?  Well, yes, it seems I had another bout of “the bug.”  Oh, yes. The dreaded bug (with similar effects to the one which recently made it’s silver screen debut in Bridesmaids).  On Saturday, despite some dizziness and stomach upset, I attempted my 1:40 run anyway.  Pretty early on I realized I was in trouble. I opted to lower my intensity (to keep my breakfast in its proper place) and end the run after an hour.  The rest of the day was spent in bed.

Today, although I knew I was still a bit intestinally iffy, I wanted to comply with my training plan, especially since this weekend marks the last of my big build weekends before pre-race taper.  The day was beautiful and I was feeling optimistic.  I will spare you the details, but will tell you I succeeded in completing my 2:2o run (with some extra time added in for, uh, emergency “rest” stops – Sorry Stewart’s!), but did not succeed in achieving my goal intensity.  My body was mostly fine with running, but seriously dragging (or worse) if I tried to push it.

I found myself wondering:  Where is the line between listening to my body and giving up?  So often the body says, “No More!” and yet I keep going.  For me this weekend, on the one hand, I felt like I was quitting – failing- not seeing my assignment through to the end.  On the other hand, I wanted to honor my body (which I was demanding so much from) and cut it some slack, given its obvious issues.  I guess this line is different for each athlete, but it would be interesting to learn more about this line from elite level athletes.

Anyway, with only 21 days left until my next race, I need to let what has been be and focus ahead on what is to come.  Part of that is making sure I do tend to my body and help it to get back to 100%.  My Bedtime Challenge and Fresh Five Challenge certainly are a help, and I look to (like my 3-treats guideline from January) keep up the momentum even after the month (and challenges) are officially over.  (Any suggestions for March’s challenge?)

Lastly, I would be holding back if I did not say that I am working hard to mentally prepare for my upcoming race.  As Yogi Berra said, “Ninety percent of the game is half mental.”  This was made crystal clear this weekend, as my body rebelled and my mind had to hop into overdrive.

According to sports psychologist Gary Mack, there are 7 specific characteristics that can be identified as part of mental toughness.  He talks about competitive drive, confidence, self-control, commitment, composure, courage and consistency.  When any one of these areas becomes out of whack, any athlete will have a more difficult time performing at a level of excellence.   These characteristics serve as a positive reminder to take control, stay focused, charge ahead and stay the course.

Mack also notes some “gremlins” that lurk in the recesses of our minds, and directly impact the 7 characteristics above in a negative way.  They are:  fear, anger, anxiety, self-consciousness, perfectionism, stubbornness, distractions, and lack of motivation, competitiveness, or persistence.

In my journey, I recognize elements of mental toughness, in terms of commitment, courage, and consistency, but also find myself battling my share of gremlins.  Fear, doubt, anxiety, and perfectionism are the ones that rear their heads the most for me.  So much so, in fact, that I have begun to wonder how important qualifying for Boston really is, and whether this whole process isn’t really about learning to banish my gremlins once and for all?

Last night, while talking with my daughter about my upcoming race, she gave me a kiss and told me, “I will love you no matter what.”  The question is, on March 18th, will I love myself….no matter what?

P.S.  Thank you to all who donated to my LiveSTRONG fundraiser!  My goal has been exceeded thanks to your generosity and desire to help those in need.   Good on ya!

60 hours until Manchester City start, but who’s counting?

The most frequently asked question this week has been, “So, you ready for your race this weekend?”  It is always paired with a smile and a jovial chit-chat cordiality that is also used when commenting on the weather.  “I hope so, we’ll see,” I shrug casually, as though discussing the latest round of Dancing with the Stars.

Oh, yes, it’s nothing really:  A second marathon in 4 weeks, a totally ignorant approach to training, freakish winter-weather conditions, and a course touted for being, “hilly, challenging, and scenic” (great, maybe I won’t notice it is hilly or challenging because I will be so engrossed in the natural beauty – eye roll).  Truth is (despite my post last Sunday about having let go of the outcome – I meant it at the time,  but…), I continue to move back and forth between moments of I-am-going-to-rock-this-thing and Oh-God-I-think-I-might-vomit.

As with any race, there is no way to know what will show up on race day.  The temperature, weather, scene, topography…are all very much out of my control.  Yet, if I let myself, I could worry about them endlessly.  As I look back over this past chocolate-crazed feeding frenzy, also known as this week (all in the name of quality carbo-loading, of course), I realize that to some degree that is what I have been doing – worrying endlessly about things out of my control (i.e. Have I rested enough?  Have I trained enough?  OMG how will I keep my pace up on the hills?  What if it is super cold and I can’t breathe?  Damn, they cancelled the pace groups this year!…)

There is a non-rational part of me that feels my success this weekend is a matter of life and death.  Talk about pressure!  Thing is, nothing bad will happen if I run the race slower than an 8:23 pace, or stop half-way, for that matter.  I will not be in danger, unsafe, or lose all things in life that are important to me.  While a part of my brain is convinced that a time slower than 3:40:00 will induce an instant personal apocalyptic cataclysm, the calmer, quieter part of my brain knows this is not true.  My goal for the next 60 hours is to turn up the volume on that calm, quiet part, and turn down the volume of the other.

While I do not have control over my external environment, I do have control over how I handle my internal environment.  Quieting my self judgment and monkey mind is the last piece of my pre-race training program.

Que sera sera.

Ballsy or Delusional? One week will tell…

When the Mohawk Hudson Marathon was over (October 9th), I wasn’t sure what to do next. Registering for the Manchester City Marathon one month later (November 6th) blew my mind and scared the bajeezus out of me.  I wondered whether I was being ballsy and setting myself up for super sweet victory, or being absolutely delusional and setting myself up for epic failure and maybe even injury.

At this point, I still don’t know the answer and won’t know for sure until this time next week.  In the meantime, the questions keep coming… Will my continued training have made me stronger, faster, smarter, or just worn me down?  Will the cooler temps help me be speedier or will they hinder my performance?  Will my added hill training make the hilly course a dream or a nightmare?

As you know from previous posts, I am in continuous dialogue with (Negative) Nelly and giving her as many doses of (Positive) Patti as possible.  What I have realized is that at least I am not scared anymore.  I know I will complete the race and even suspect I will enjoy it, given how much I have started to look forward to it.  I have made peace with, and let go of, my attachment to the outcome.  Whatever time ends up on the clock as I cross the finish, just having stepped so far out of my comfort zone to dare myself to complete “back to back” marathons is something for me to celebrate and savor.  (Don’t get me wrong, I want this “win.” I also know that this is a journey and I will get it done when the time is right.  Hopefully next Sunday will be the time.  If not, it isn’t the end of the road.)

Today I had a split run (two 40 min runs – one in the morning and one in the afternoon).  The first was on the treadmill at the Y because the sidewalks were still pretty covered with snow and slush.  I ramped my run up from 8:54 minute miles to 7:30 minute miles. Outside later in the day (beautiful with the sun shining!) I ran about the same with hills and felt strong.  The top of my right foot still has annoying “sneaker bite”, but hopefully new laces this week, icing, and a bit of luck will get it to finally go away.

I feel better now than I did before the last race, so hopefully that is a good sign and indicator of success.  It will be what it will be.

For the rest of the week I will continue my plan and get my race gear ready.  I still am not sure what I will wear, since my favorite race gear is likely to be too cold.  Also, my water belt last time was good to have, but it is a man’s belt and jiggled more than ideal, so I would like to replace it with a smaller one.  (Yeah, I could have taken care of that sooner.  Oh, well.)  Lastly, I need to get more gels because I am almost out.  I used the Powerbar Power Gel Strawberry 1x caffeine last race and during training, so want to make sure that’s what I have again race day.

Most of all this week, I will need to concentrate on getting sleep (I say as I publish this at 11:25 pm!), eating well, hydrating, and steeling my mind.

One week to go.  So soon and so far away all at the same time.

All positive vibes gratefully encouraged and accepted.

Gearing up for the next drumroll…